The most depressing story on gays and body image I’ve read in a long time

This one made the rounds yesterday, but I had to work 18 hours so it’s not coming out from me until today.  A new survey shows that men would actually prefer to lose time off their life span if the trade off was a “perfect body”

Indeed, gay men have been stereotypically cast as gym bunnies by popular culture for some time, but a new British poll has now revealed a slightly more disturbing fact about that population’s fractured relationship with body image.

A study commissioned by the Central YMCA, the Succeed Foundation and the University of the West of England’s (UWE) Centre for Appearance Research in Bristol found that 48 percent of gay male respondents would sacrifice a year or more of their lives in exchange for a perfect body.

Perhaps even more onerous: researchers also found that 10 percent of those men would agree to die more than 11 years earlier if they could have their ideal body right now, according to Pink News.

Not surprisingly, authorities attributed the results to popular depictions of gay men in media. “Today gay men are under enormous pressure about their bodies, and we believe that a lack of body diversity in the media, including the gay press, and a relentless focus which values people based on appearance, may in part explain why gay men are particularly susceptible to this issue,” Rosi Prescott, CEO of Central YMCA, told Pink News.

“This is of concern when we know that record numbers of men are taking steroids or having unnecessary cosmetic surgery to achieve what is often an unattainable or unrealistic body image ideal.”

A total of 384 men, a quarter of which identified as gay, were reportedly surveyed as part of the poll, with an average age of 40, according to the BBC.

But overall, researchers say the increase in body hang-ups surged among both gay and straight men.

As The Telegraph notes, the survey found a staggering 80 percent of men regularly discuss body shapes, often comparing them to those of top celebrities and fashion models — and 59 percent of them admitted that doing so makes them feel worse about themselves.

That, to me, is just extraordinarily depressing. Gay men would rather die early if it meant obtaining a perfect body.  Am I the only one that thinks that’s amazingly fucked up?  I’ve ranted on this before, and rather than rant again, I’m just going to retread the same thing I said before:

Guys:  we’ve gotta stop with this preconceived notion of what a gay man is supposed to look like.  Too often I see and hear those that don’t fit in the “gay mold” talking about how they’re perceived as yesterday’s leftovers by other guys because they might be hairy, a little pudgy, a lot pudgy or physically impaired (i.e., blind, deaf, paraplegic etc).  Nothing makes me crazier quicker than to see this happen or hear that’s still going on.

If someone is going to judge you on what you look like rather than the kind of man you are – then fuck them and the horse they rode in on.  They’re not fit to mow your lawn, much less get in your heart.  You don’t need them, and you sure as hell don’t need to conform to their mold of you.

So says the guy who’s talked repeatedly about his gym exploits, right?  My physical transformations over the last few years are for ME, not because I want acceptance from other guys.  I got a man, and I’m proud to say I got the best man out there.  He loves me for me – he couldn’t give a damn about what I look like because he’ll never see it and even if he had his sight he’s enough of a true man to not give a shit.  The fact that I do have the physical attributes he finds attractive is just gravy.  I know he’d love me with or without ‘em.

Break the cycle, guys.  If you’re after the muscles, the perfect body, the fill-in-the-blank, chase it for YOU, not for the acceptance and love you think it’s going to get you.  Less than 3% of men have magazine cover looks, why are the other 97% of us trying to get them?  Love yourself for what you see, don’t try to achieve a “gold standard” that really is unachievable.  It’s the gold you have in your heart that counts.

OK, rant over.

This proves the point I’ve made over and over.  Gay men can really be our own worst enemy sometimes.

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