Why President Obama loves you (and why gay bloggers keep missing the wink and the nod)

OK, here we go: I’m getting sucked back into politics again, but I think it’s due.

President Obama spoke at the HRC gala dinner, and the self-appointed experts of everything gay (and what should be important to you) are, as usual, lambasting him for not grabbing the microphone and saying “I want you all to have gay marriage”.  Case in point:

I swear to god, this is the actual headline in the WaPo:

Obama says he’s ‘still working’ on view of gay marriage; says gay friends influence thinking

Obama’s comments come one year after he told liberal bloggers that his views on gay marriage were “evolving.” He supports civil unions, but has thus far not backed same-sex marriage…Obama says his evolving views are influenced by friends, family and children of gay couples he knows who are thriving.

I think we can dispense with this idiotic tap dance, Mr. President. These kinds of statements are pitiful. It sounds like our POTUS is straining so hard on the matter that you want to hand him a bottle of Metamucil to ease the blockage.

Look, we know you support marriage equality already and are holding off on stating the obvious (after all, those legal marriages in six states are thriving just fine) because some few voters out there haven’t a clue where you stand and will make their selection in the voting booth based on your marriage equality position.

Who in god’s name is he pandering to with this nonsense?

Uh, he would be pandering to us.  You doofus.

This is what’s fucking scary to me about gay bloggers, um, excuse me: citizen journalists (gag) who have an armchair perspective of politics and think they actually have a clue.  Spaulding has more than once called out the President.  Aravosis has made a career out of telling his readers that a/his site was one of the few invited to the White House, and b/the President should evolve already. He’s even turned it into a tshirt line (and a five week vacation in Paris too, by the way.)  Sadly, even Chris Johnson at the Blade is busy banging his spoon on his high chair for “an answer“.  One trick pony sites like Good as You do nothing BUT talk about marriage and the tide of gays against the President have a rude awakening in store for them.  Come election time, if he loses we’re all completely and royally fucked.  I’m talking Bush era gay rights.  Not Bush Jr., either.  Bush senior.  We won’t get diddly.

The problem is that NOBODY is paying attention to the meaning of the message.  Every single time the President says he’s evolving, here’s what he’s really saying:

Look, you and I both know gays want marriage and I’m real cool getting behind this but it’s an election year.  If I get behind this before I win the vote, my goose is cooked.  The republicans will mount a defense of a lifetime and Michelle, me and the kids might as well get packing now because that’ll cost me the election.  Even the swing-vote democrats will bristle if I do that one.  And, if I lose the second term, you’re going to get some republican wing(nut) like Bachman, Perry, or Cain who’ll do their damn best effort to make sure gays are blown back to the 16th century and you won’t see squat for at least four years if not longer.

So, vote for me and as soon as I’m sure my name isn’t going to be removed off my parking spot I’ll come out for this.  OK? Trust me on this one and you won’t regret it.

But, no.  Because the President won’t “evolve” he’s deemed a failure in terms of all gay rights and I’m telling you what:  it’s this sort of dim, dismal, short sighted and ill-informed thinking is going to cost us the only President who’s been in the White House that is truly interested in leveling the playing field for gays.  So, if you think I’m full of shit, go ahead and NOT back the President and let the Republicans get the White House, too.  Or let a Tea Bagger in there.  Then we can all deal with a President who thinks that gays can be converted (Bachmann) , or one that thinks gays have made a choice (Cain)  or a President who actually owned a ranch named “The Niggerhead Ranch”. (Perry)

Do you think you’ll get gay marriage then?

(note: my thanks to Chase Coxx for correcting me on my error in Perry’s ranch name)

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