Memorial Ladies Help Give the Fallen a Final Salute
Grandmother estimates she’s attended 1700 funerals to honor fallen US soldiers.
From the Houston Chronicle:
The number is probably around 1,700, but Cheryl Whitfield has never counted.
She doesn’t know the number of times over the past couple of years she’s donned her uniform of black vest and slacks, crossed her heart with a white-gloved hand as the flag-draped casket passed, or bent to squeeze the palm of an old soldier’s widow, whispering a few words of consolation and gratitude for his service.
The Champions-area grandmother just knows, like many of the other 28 women who make up the “National Memorial Ladies,” what she does at the Houston National Cemetery is her mission, her calling.
“I want people to know these guys are not forgotten,” Whitfield says.
Whitfield, inspired by the Arlington Ladies who attend military funerals in the Washington, D.C., area, started her own version in Houston in September 2008. She began alone, recruiting volunteers through newspaper ads. Now, the group, with two ladies on call each day, covers all 60 or so funerals each week at the Houston National Cemetery. On behalf of “the American people,” they offer condolences to next of kin, complete with handwritten cards.
“When I drive through the gates in the morning, and there’s dew covering everything, it’s like I step into a different world,” Whitfield says. “There’s nothing behind me. It’s a peacefulness I feel.”
On a recent morning, two members of the VFW District 4 Honor Guard carefully slid the flag off the simple black casket of 57-year-old Vietnam veteran Thomas Stanford II. They folded it into a starry wedge and presented it to his sister, Linda Shafer. Whitfield held the Channelview woman’s hand, assuring her that her brother was in a better place and his service wasn’t forgotten.
‘They made it special’
After the ceremony, Shafer said her brother, a proud veteran of the Army, Marines, and the Merchant Marines who flew a POW banner outside his home next to the American flag, would have appreciated the gesture. “It was awesome,” she said. “They made it special. I think he would have loved it.”
At times, Whitfield has attended eight services in a single day. Like the other ladies, she shows up in the rain, on the coldest winter days, and all summer when the rising mercury melts her makeup and leaves her feet swelling in her shoes.
At times, Whitfield has attended eight services in a single day. Like the other ladies, she shows up in the rain, on the coldest winter days, and all summer when the rising mercury melts her makeup and leaves her feet swelling in her shoes.
She says her group serves as the “calm in the storm,” offering a warm touch, a kind word to soothe families’ grief. Sometimes, their words are met only with blank stares, sometimes with grateful tears.
“Some of them will have that desperate look in their eyes. It’s like they want me to tell them something they can hang on to,” Whitfield says.
Whitfield says she considers her role in the service as an honor, one that’s given her more appreciation for life. “I don’t leave here depressed. I leave here thinking we’ve got to cherish all the time we have.”
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