This Christmas
This is one of the first times in years that I can actually say I look forward to the holidays. One read of my previous blog postings will verify this. In years past I looked forward to the holidays about as much as I would a root canal or exploratory surgery. I can’t say the same mindset applies for 2009, and I’m pretty damn tickled about that.
What’s changed? No one event has triggered this great metamorphosis so much as a combination of little things. The job is going good – so far. It’s a definite step back for my finances, but I’m happy. The work is a challenge every day of the week where I have to “make my bones” to move up in terms of my professional clout. To give you a better idea, think of a professional singer moving into acting; everybody knows you can sing and have got a great set of pipes. However, we’ll give you a script to read, and we’re not going to hold our breath. Show us what you got and don’t make us regret giving you the chance here, ok? A career of photojournalism doesn’t amount to a hill of beans in terms of moving into the written area of journalism. Half of me wants to return to the safety I find behind my camera, and the other half of me keeps going if for no other reason than to prove my detractors wrong. Not exactly the most magnanimous of reasons, but sometimes you just have to take the effort wherever you can find it.
One of the perks of the job is my relocation to London. I’ve been in love with this city for more than half my life, and I find myself more at home here than in Cleveland these days. I still find myself hating the weather here and my pursuit of a decent slice of pizza seems to have no end in sight. Thanks to the generosity of my in-laws I have a beautiful flat to call my own. It’s big enough to park a few tractor trailers in, impeccably decorated and has every amenity I could possibly hope for. It’s a total man-cave on steroids – and amazingly out of my financial reach. At this point in my life, I couldn’t afford to tour a place like this, much less use it as my home. In this regard I am truly and undeservedly blessed.
I’ve aligned myself with a great nonprofit group these days. After I responded to a random post on Facebook that caught my eye, things rapidly progressed to my signing onto a nonprofit that was the brainchild of that post’s author. I started out doing nothing more than revamping the group’s online presence and rapidly moved into development and public relations. The group is still in its infancy, and there’s a lot of hard work to be done. I work with such a great, passionate group of people that not only support the group but also believe in it. Being around that sort of energy and devotion makes me work harder to be successful in the areas I have been charged with leading. After every small victory achieved for the group, I can see us getting closer to our goals. Out of nowhere, I was handed another fantastic blessing in my life.
Then there’s Simon – such a goober. I vacillate between being overwhelmed with love for him, and then wondering if my hands will fit around his neck when I attempt to choke the life out of him – often varying on an hourly basis. I’m not going to air his dirty laundry in public. Just suffice it to say that he’s got some skeletons in the closet that he has to clean out all by himself. It’s his wreckage that he has to care for and failure to do so will impact any future we might have. To his credit, I don’t for a moment doubt the love he has for me and he’s making a substantial effort to ensure I don’t forget that. Because my work with the nonprofit is keeping me in the states for a while, he’s taken it upon himself to come over to the states for the first time in more than 5 years. It’s pretty tough to look at that and not see the blessings written all over it. For the first time since Richard was killed I can honestly say that I’m in love with somebody that unreservedly feels the same for me. I know people that search the world over for love and never find it. I’ve been blessed to be partner with some remarkable men that have changed my life for the better in ways I can’t even begin to count. If you want to learn more about Simon and I, you’ll find plenty of information in my earlier posts.
Last but not least, I really feel at one with my spiritual life for the first time. The details around my spirituality are best left for an in-person conversation. I don’t volunteer a lot of details for general consumption; to me this is an intensely personal subject. There are very few people in my real world that have a thorough understanding of this facet of my life – it’s just not a casual conversation for me. Let’s just leave it at my being happy and at peace on this subject.
I was supposed to pick up Simon at the airport this Saturday, and I woke up this morning with him looming over my bed. He scared the ever-living crap out of me, and if I had something handy I’d have parted his skull with it. I haven’t laid eyes on him since the end of October when I left the UK, so we have a few extra days to get reacquainted with each other. Sadly, I have professional obligations that must be met and Simon knows that I have to share my time accordingly until we leave for Chicago. I made promises to my job as well as the nonprofit group and I need to see those thru to completion.
I think the comfort level I am experiencing with the holidays is directly proportionate to the blessings I have this year. I don’t have everything I want, but I do have everything I need and that makes me smile.
My love to you this holiday season. I hope you can reflect on your life this year and see the same blessings. If you can’t, give me a call and I’ll be happy to share mine.
Daniel.
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