Don't Look Down
How did I get appointed as the responsible one?
I don’t remember filling out any job application for this, sending in a resume, or even being remotely queried on whether or not I was OK with shouldering the burden.
But where do I lean when I need a rock? Who’s got MY back?
It doesn’t help matters much that I’m not a person to reach out. I never have been, don’t have a clue how to do it. Call it a short in my gene pool, a missing series of brain cells, whatever you want to call it. The concept is completely foreign to me; like recognizing subtlety or speaking French. I can’t do those either.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m humbled that those in my life consider me a rock in their turbulent times. The combination of a winning personality (yeah, that IS sarcasm) and a couple of psychology degrees pretty much puts me in a category where friends come to me for help. Jesus, 22 years ago they wouldn’t have hired me to mow their lawns so that is a true miracle in my life that I treasure and say thanks for every night. I will always be there for my friends and loved ones, no matter what. Hell, I’d give the shirt off my back to anybody I loved without question.
I guess I’d just feel a bit better walking this tightrope if there were a net beneath it. I’ve gotten used to keeping my balance up here, but lately I’ve taken to looking at the pavement beneath me and get scared. And I start to wobble…
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